lol I changed what gay autocorrects to in my friends phone so he’ll stop using it as a derogatory term.
so i texted him pretending i was coming out of the closet and this is fantastic
i wanna look like someone who can cut you but still bakes cookies in her spare time
OMG YOURE STRAIGHT WE HAVE TO PLAY FOOTBALL AND GO HUNTING SOMETIME
OH I HAVE A COUSIN WHO’S STRAIGHT I SHOULD INTRODUCE YOU
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IM NOT A HETEROPHOBE ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS STRAIGHT
OMG I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A STRAIGHT BEST FRIEND!
HOW DO STRAIGHT PEOPLE HAVE SEX
HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE STRAIGHT?
Quick and simple lifehacks.
Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”
i can’t even play hard to get i’m already hard to want
So my girlfriends sock was lying on the ground inside out and I was afraid I’d wake her up from laughing so hard.
time to drown myself in music to forget about my feelings
y’all are like “ooh everyone is beautiful” “ooh everyone deserves to feel hot” and then three seconds later you’re making fun of people who cover their acne with makeup and people who haven’t mastered winged eyeliner yet like grow the hell up you don’t get to pick and choose times to be body positive
really in the mood for receiving $50,000,000